KBS is Back 2018 and a Freebie
I’m back among the scrapbook living. I deeply apologize for my absence. I will spare you all the details but will give you a little insight into why I have been absent. At first I was contemplating whether to explain my absence but after much thought decided I would. There is NO SHAME in my reason, in fact I’m positive there are many who have been through and are facing the exact same or similar situation as I have and am still dealing with. It’s called LIFE and here you go, this has been mine for several years but has come to a head the end of 2017. My 24 year old son has a drug problem, crystal meth, he had gotten himself into a bit of trouble to say the least and in July was sentenced to county jail to be held there until a space opened up in Prison Rehab which the Judge sentenced him to 15 months in prison rehab. The Judge thought that if he stayed out until an opening was available he would probably more than likely be found dead on the side of the road from an overdose or worse and so she put him in jail to keep him safe. Now I did not agree with this decision right off the bat, but after literally crying for a week I came to understand why she did it and my head agreed with her but my heart ached and broke for my child. After almost four months in county jail (which a day of that had not gone by where I did not cry and I faithfully visited him through a glass window every time they would let me and left crying each time) (I had never cried more in front of strangers than I did in those 4 months.) (It was a little comforting knowing these other Mothers were going through the same thing I was, that helped a little) I was able to get the money to hire an attorney to get his sentenced reduced and sent to a private rehab instead of Prison Rehab. Well I was successful and he was released the night before they were to send him off for 15 months to prison. (PRISON! I could not wrap my head around it, his offense didn’t warrant PRISON (even the attorney agreed) but the Judge thought he need intensive rehab so that was his sentence.) He spent some time in private rehab where I joined him in group therapy and learned a few things about myself and how I enabled him in his drug use and all the while raising his two daughters 4 and 7 and pretending that everything is fine and daddy is “sick” and in the “hospital” and would be home soon. So my time as you can see has been totally consumed with my child and grand daughters. But thanks to group therapy, I’ve learned that it’s OK for me NOT TO be all consumed with my child and that to let go of the things I can’t control and TAKE MY LIFE BACK. I had given up my life 24 years ago. SO…that is what my goal is for 2018. It’s baby steps for me because after all for 24 years I have lived for my child and my child only. So I’m having to learn to put myself first. So that brings me back to designing. I’m ready to get back into it, although I’m still raising my two granddaughters, I am going to make the time to get back to work and to start living again. My son is doing well, he’s on three years probation (which will help keep him in line) and is back home with us and his daughters. All we can do is take one day at a time and keep moving forward. I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have my son home, clean and sober and getting on with his life. He has been given a second chance at life and so have I. It’s time for the both of us to live our lives to the fullest. That sounds like I’m skydiving or bungee jumping, it’s not quite that drastic for me anyhow, it’s all baby steps for me, it’s hard to teach an “old dog” new tricks. lol Words for me to live by: God Grant me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I CAN NOT CHANGE, the COURAGE to CHANGE the things I CAN and the WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
Now if you took the time to read my post, thank you very much. I managed last night to make a few background papers for you I hope you like them click on the image to download your freebie. and I’ll be back soon, promise!
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